Oh life...

My Life

Obstacles in my life have been like a snowball this week. Rolling downhill at me, growing bigger and bigger and bigger. Things keep happening and it seems as if bad things really do happen in threes. Its just one thing after another. And not little things either. Big things.

But through all this, I've learned some very important lessons. I've learned who my true friends are and I'm rekindling some of those best friends that I had moved apart from. I've learned what is important to me in life and that I AM strong enough to keep fighting and make it through anything. I've got to fight for what I believe in and what I know in my heart is true. And although things won't be easy, it will be ok.

They say that bad things come in three...and then there's a stroke of good luck. Maybe it'll come. Well, I'll be open to some. But if more troubles are just to follow, I'm ready for that too.

There is nothing to worry about but all things to pray for. God is in charge and in control of my life, all I can do is let him do his work and know that he will give me nothing that I cannot handle/overcome.

Things won't be easy. But they will be ok.

Much love and hugs,

Sam

Takin a Break

Tired....

I've been out of town for a few days and unable to post.

I would post tonight but I'm very stressed about my day at school tomorrow and having to face a certain person who is making my life hell and making me feel like crap about myself. Also, I'm tired which means any entry posted would be not good.

Talk 5

Loss of a loved one

It's hard to lose somebody you love. It's one of the most challenging things a person can face in their lifetime. Losing someone you love....its painful. The grieving process is long and hard. But...it'll be ok.

One thing to remember is that they know how you feel. They know you loved them and how much you cared even if you didn't expess it.

Also, isn't it a nice thought that they are finally out of this hell-hole we call earth? Man this place sucks sometimes so it's great to think that our loved ones have moved on to a better place. They're with the one who made them and loves them more than any of us ever could.

But.... one thing I took from this talk is to live your life always reminding those you love that you care about them. You neve know when they'll be gone.

Much love and hugs,

Sam

Talk 4

Foundations

What are your foundations built upon?

We cannot build our foundations upon our friends. Not only does it create not solid ground for you to live on (building your house on sand instead of rock) but it can also drain them and hurt them, which is terrible...I've been in both places before and it's really not fun.

But what we can do is buid our foundation upon God. He is the rock in which to build your house. He is always stable and will always be the ultimate one there for you. He is the one on whom you can always rely and never have to worry.

Build your foundation on your faith in God. It can work miracles.

Much love and hugs,

Sam

Talk 3

Influence on Others

This was a tough talk to hear. One of my best friends...it was hard to hear what this person has been through and still continues to bear every day. But...I learned so much from it.

The one thing that really shone out from it was that what you say can really influence people. You never know what your words or your actions towards another person will do to them. It can have a very negative effect. People get really hurt by what other people say (and can even be driven to suicide from it). You have power over other people.

Talk 2

Self Esteem

This was my talk.

One of the hardest battles I think a person can face is the one against themself. If you are weak in your faith and belief in yourself, everything else will crumble around you. You are the one who sees yourself with tainted eyes, needing to live up to everything and failing every time. You put the most pressure on yourself. You never think you're good enough. And when others hurt you, it just hurts all the more when you just believe everything they tell you.

Talk One

Drug Abuse

This one is going to be a relatively short reflection. It's a topic I don't know much about.

Using drugs give people a high. Obvious. But..it's not anything compared to the high that we can get from allowing God to take over in our lives. Or the high of a clean conscience.  Those things are what truly make people happy. Trying to fill up the gap in your life with drugs/alcohol/sex/anything won't really do it. But when you hand it all over to the one who made you, the hole will be filled.

Much love and hugs,

Sam

Retreat

Heal, yea!

That was our slogan for the weekend. Here is a breif overview of general things to know:

Theme- God's Water Heals

Song- Healin Begins by Tenth Avenue North

Verse- "Those who drink from the water I give them will never thirst" (Samaratin woman at the well)

Todays entry is to describe what will be posted in the course of the next few days. I will probably start with refelctions on each of the witness talks given. Then any thoughts or things I need to reflect on. But this could vary and change.

Things are about to get a lot more personal.

I'm just gonna say that this weekend was one of the best in my life and it was such an incredible experience. I've made a newer family out of CYO and grown closer to them than any large group than before. Although there was some issues and troubles and issues with "going with the flow", the experience overall was well worth the strife and stress it caused.

"God heals the broken-hearted and binds their wounds." (my bible verse from my talk)

Much love and hugs,

Sam

Day 15

Habits

Day 15: What is your quirkest habit? Worst? Best?

I'll start with silly then go serious. My quirky habit is that sometimes I'll 'type' words out in the air. Or play an invisible piano. Yea, I'm weird. Worst would probably be biting my nails (which I'm trying to break), and best would be...well...I'm not really sure.

Day 14

Memory

Day 14: What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?

My happiest childhood memory...the best one that immediately pops into mind was with my late grandfather. I was really little and it was when we lived with him and my grandma in Marietta. He and I were on the computer playing Who Wants to Be A Millionaire. And we were on the million dollar question and neither of us knew the answer. But I had a gut feeling that the answer was A. I can't remember the question or the anwers but I distinctly remember that I KNEW the answer was A. But Grandpa didnt' wanna risk it, so he walked away. And guess what? When it showed us the right answer...yea...it was A.

Day 13

Fear of Death

Day 13: Do you fear death? If so, do you have a good reason?

That is a hard question to answer. There is two ways I could answer this question. A) Do I fear myself dying? or B) Do I fear the death of others?

A) Myself dying I am not really afraid of. I've come to terms that my life is going to end on this plane of existance and I'll move onto my life in another. I'm not afraid of what is my demise. I just pray that is won't be painful, but I'm not afraid.

Day 12

Purpose In Life

Day 12: Do you know God's purpose for your life? Do we know this from birth?

I'll start with the second question and then answer the first.

I think that we all have our purpose in life engraved into our hearts upon birth. But we may not discover it until later in life. There are some people who just automatically know and then life pans out for them as they always knew it would. I think they're pretty lucky. Others have to work to find that purpose or just let it happen upon them and then BAM it becomes clear. But I believe our purpose IS set out for us at birth.

Day 10 and 11

Letting Go and Remembering

Hello again! Two days again in this entry. No internet access last night and I didnt' get home from Charleston till about 11 and I was exhausted. So anyways, let's hop to it!

Day 10: Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

Well, honestly...probably the pain that other people have caused me. I don't really dwell on it..but there are days when it still bothers me and some of the feelings from that pain swell back up and I get sad.

Day 9

Loss of A Friend

Day 9: Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

There are two ways in which I can answer this question due to the word choice of 'worse'. I'll talk about each option on its own and explain how it is worse, starting with what I believe to be the least 'sad'. And when I say sad....well, you'll see what I mean.

Day 8

Ten Years Time

Day 8 : Where do you see yourself ten years from now?

Well, I'll be 27. I see myself married to a certain somebody, possibly with some children. I see myself working as an elementary music teacher, and loving my carreer. I see myself happy with life and God and the world. 

To sum it up, I see joy.

Day 7

My Message

Day 7: If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be?

You are NEVER alone.

So many people in this world today feel..lost, alone, abandoned, hopeless. And I think that a lot of these negative feelings are stemmed from feeling alone. Like whenever one is in a tough situation, it is only worsened by the feeling that no one else is there to help them. They must fight it completely on their own.

Day 5 and 6

Regret and Calculations

Okay guys, I'm sorry to not have updated yesterday. I had an absolutely KILLER migraine and had to just get to bed before I could post an entry. So you get two doses of thought tonight.

Day 5: What would you regret not fully doing, being, or having in your life?

The capacity to love and be loved. If I never marry, I will regret it. If I never have kids or friends who are like family to me, I will regret it. To me, having love in life is the most rewarding thing one can ever have. People who love you are the biggest blessing in the world. And the ability to love others is astounding. And then there's always God's love. That has to be the one thing I would regret not having in my life.

Day 4

Living vs. Existing

Question for Day 4: What is the difference between living and existing?

First, I want to take a look at the literal definitions for each. The definition of living is acting or thriving (among other things of course, but I picked the definition that really spoke out to me!). The definition of existance is to have actual being.

There is such a difference between these two definitions, although each did have similarities between them. The main difference is in living. Although one explanation of living is to exist, the definition I chose is very significant. (Randomly terrible paragraph...)

Day 2 and 3

Lenten Sacrifices and Devotion/Happiness

Since I had some issues yesterday and couldn't post my thoughts for the day, so today I am going to play catch-up. I have two topics as seen above. They're probably going to be a tad short today but anyways. . . Let's get started!

Lenten sacrifices. I honestly believe people dont' take this seriously anymore. I'll be honest, in the past, I didn't either. But this year I'm trying really hard to make a difference. Somebody (i'm being dead serious here) was debating over whether or not to give up their straightener. Talk about sacrifice! (obvious sarcasm!) The purpose of Lent isn't to give up something trivial. It's to find a deeper wealth of love for our God.

Lenten Reflection Day 1

Being Nice

Let me explain something first. One of my Lenten promises to myself is to post a reflection entry every day until Lent is over. Instead of giving up something to better myself (which I already am through a different goal) I also intend to better myself through daily reflection, thought, and prayer. Each day I will have a question which I will talk about my feelings on. So let's get this started!

Day 1: What is the nicest thing you remember ever doing for someone. What is the nicest thing you will do for someone this week?

Getting pretty tired. . .

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

Quote credit to William Shakespeare. This is my philosophy on life. It's how I try to live my life on a daily basis and overall it has led me to be a happier person. It really and truly has. So this post is based off of this quote and something that happened to me today and how I feel right now. I'm going to start at the end of the quote and work my way backwards.

Do wrong to none. Wow. That's a universal truth right there! And I really try to live by this. I probably fail but I do try. I really really do! What hurts me more than anything is when people do wrong to others. Blatantly wrong and hurtful and especailly in the eyes of the world. It hurts me more than any slap in the face every could. I feel so hurt and injured right now becaus I've been done wrong to in this way and the next paragraph will explain more about why this pain is so severe.

My Life As A Movie Soundtrack

What I Got

So I stole this off a note from Jesse Kindred :) and I absolutely had to do it. Hope you enjoy!

1) Open your music library. (MediaPlayer, iTunes, etc.)

2) Put your entire library on shuffle.
3) For each scene in the movie of your life, put the song title that plays every time you skip to the next track, no matter how fitting or unfitting it may seem.
4) For the end credits use three songs; While you're at it, pick one of those as the title of your movie.

Oh my goodness!!!!

Eeeeepppp!!!!!!!!

So I am incredibly INCREDIBLY BEYOND SUPER HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!!!! And I don't quite want to blog about my reason yet but eventually I will :) Anyways, I am going to share quotes about happiness though! Please enjoy!

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections." -Anonymous

"Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence" -Aristotle

"Be happy. It's one way of being wise."

He had the world...

But he thought he wanted more.

Lyrics from Relient K's My Girl's Ex-Boyfriend. This entry is primarily to recount a story from today and directed towards a certain, special someone ;)

So I've been away at All-State Honor Chorus. And I knew that my ex-boyfriend (the one who cheated on me and just...the majority of people who I know read this know the story, for those who don't, well...our two-year relationship ended VERY badly) was also going to be attending this function. Thank heavens we are in different choirs and it took until today to run into him. I was really hoping I would never have to see him (like I said, we ended on very bad terms and I try to avoid him), but I didn't get my wish. As I walked out of the doors from my rehearsal room, I heard from name from a detestable, familiar voice. And I was staring at the boy a few feet ahead of me...who I'd rather see fall off the face of the earth instead of in front of me. But...he had already seen me and I couldn't be rude, it's just not in my character to ignore people. Thus, I had to suck up my pride and my emotions and talk to him.

Survey Time

Ultimate Survey

Out of sheer boredom, I have decided to take a few random surveys just because I'm bored. Taken on Quizilla.com. Posted are the quiz title and result. Please enjoy!

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Quiz 1. What is going to be your life story?

I'm going to change the world. One super computer at a time !

Blast From The Past

Stories from the Orlando Airport

Okay guys. I figured I'd share something I'd written about a year ago when I got stuck in the Orlando Airport on a weekend trip to Disney World. So here goes!

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Isn't it ironic how a short weekend trip for fun could turn into a huge ordeal?

Isn't it also ironic how flying home is supposed to get me there sooner than driving?
Yeah, my weekend has definitely been interesting.
I'm coming to you live from the Orlando airport, waiting on a plane due to depart at 10:05. Wanna know the best part? The original departure time was 5:30. Yeah, it's that bad. And it's all thanks to Mother Nature and her freakish sense of humor to throw a snowstorm in Atlanta today and make all the nice people stuck in airports. Yay for us!
So...since I'm bored and have nothign to do, I'm going to bring you 'Stories from teh Orlando Airport'. -dun dun duh dun!- Exciting, yes I know, but please do try to contain yourself. I'm going to write a little miniature story about my day here. So, here we go!

District Honor Band

"I write music with an exclamation point!"

Quote credit to Richard Wagner, one of the many fantastic composers whose music I had the pleasure of playing this past weekend. District Honor Band is one of the many experiences that I love in my musical life. Not as fantastic as All-state but it is still incredible.

Retreat :)

My Life in Outline Form

So this is the outline for my talk. I figured since there are so few of you as my readers I can share this with you :)

• Who people see me as

     o This isn’t how I see myself

Valentines Day

How to write a poem

In honor of Valentine's day, I have decided to write a love poem. But to make it a tad more intersting, I went to wiki how for step by step directions :) Here they are, along with my work based off of following these instructions!

1. Write a page of standard prose, as fast as you can, about how you felt the first time you saw your loved one, how you felt the first time you knew you were in love, and how you feel right now about being together. These three moments in time will create the structure of your poem.

How is it that everything can seem so perfect? The way it feels to be in your arms, your smile and all of your charms. Your loving touch and gentle words we share. The joy inside from the way you care. The butterflies in my tummy and the dizziness in my heart. It's all just beginning but it's a great place to start.

Random Facts?

Oh the beauty of being random

Since it's been three days, and I had no idea what to blog about again. I'm going to post random facts that I love!!!! :) Hopefully this acceptable and we will both learn a little something.

Ants never sleep.

No word in the the English dictionary rhymes with "MONTH".
The human brain is 80% water.

Peter Pan

Surefire way to win my heart

This is going to be a short one, but I hadn't posted in over three days so here I am! Wowzers it's been a crazy weekend! My auditions today at the College of Charleston were not as wonderful as I would have hoped. But I shall live and life moves on! All that I can do now is wait and see what happens.

Besides the fact, somebody has discovered the surefire way to win my heart! It is through this amazing video. I have been in love with Peter Pan ever since I was little. I basically have the movie memorized. But every time I go to Disney World, I fail at seeing him. And it is usually that I missed him by about five minutes. It's a terrible terrible thing. BUT! The most amazing person in the universe went to Disney and saw him and get me a special video of him! Now I am an incredibly happy Sam!

Love, Love, and Love (Part Two)

"Love is great when you find

somebody to give it to."

Quote credit to Chris Myrick. Now that I have avoided the topic of romantic love, I actually do want to address my feelings on this. First, let me rant a moment.

I have been used and abused when it comes to love. I have been lied to, cheated on, had my heart broken and stepped on. Multiple times. So when it comes to love, I try to be a little wary now. I told myself I'd take my time and fall slowly, afraid to be hurt again. Turns out that goal went down the hole. (But that's another story for another time. Oh, and just to be clear, I'm currently very okay with that goal not working out. It ended up being incredible <3 )

Love, Love, and Love (Part One)

"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge."

Quote credit to Thomas Carlyle. Note, the quote does not speak about a particular kind of love. It just states a "loving heart". Let me be blunt for a moment. People piss me off about love sometimes. They knock others down for loving and there's 'rules' set in place and wowzers it makes me mad sometimes. Just wow. Some situations currently occuring in my life and a friend's facebook status (reading "QUIT SAYING UR IN LOVE U CANT BE " IN LOVE " WITH EVERY PERSON U MEET") got me thinking. Cause I say 'I love you' often. I know I do and I'll be the first to admit that. But. . . I mean it every time. That's where my issues with 'love' comes in. People really don't understand what it is and the abundance of it there should be.

Sssh! It's a secret

"Secrets are made to found out in time."

Quote credit goes to Charles Sanford. Inspiration for blogging from the book series Pretty Little Liars and a conversation with the wonderful Brittany last night. No, I am not blogging about a big secret of mine. I am just discussing my feelings on the topic of secrets.

I do have secrets. We all do. Some of which I will take to my grave, others that I have shared with my best friends, and even more that aren't really secrets. I have learned from all, learned some from others, and they have truly taught me who in this world I can trust and who to stay away from. They've taught me about true love (romantic and friendship). The people that really love me will respect my secrets. That means either by not pressuring me to reveal them or by not sharing them with others. Respect constitutes love, and that applies to secret-keeping as well. I learned a little about that today. 

Facebook Statuses

Sometimes I don't get it. . .

So I just don't understand how people act on facebook sometimes. I would like to say to some "do you not realize the whole world can find what you are saying right now and use it against you?" I try not to post stuff like that (I probably fail because as the saying goes 'to err is human' and I am very human!!) and it just makes me giggle/feel weird/be annoyed when I see posts like that. Now I'm going to put up some of my favorite from today and also what I think. Because some are just ridiculous. No names will be mentioned!

Literary Competition

The Time Traveler's Wife

Our school is attending the Literary competition this year. I'd rather not have to explain, but in short, we go and compete in a variety of categories and hope to win! Well, this year is our first year and I have been entered in as the female dramatic interpretation contestant. Currently, I'm in the process of selecting a piece to do. It must be a maximum of 10 minutes, including a brief introduction on the scene. Today was our first meeting and we were beginning to decide our monologues (for myself and my  male counterpart). It was so hard to find something, but then my teacher and I decided upon compiling selections from The Time Travelers Wife. It's such a moving novel! I cried when I read it. Now it's just to find parts that would flow well together and will tug at the heartstrings of the judges.

If you have read the book, let me know what you think! Tell me the sections you wish to be included or good possibilities. Of course, they need to be from Claire's point of view. I'm going to start with the prologue and segway into another section from there. I'm just not sure what. Just in case you haven't read the book, here is what the beginning of my interp will read.

The Words I Would Say

"Forgive and Forget"

Lyrics above are from the song which share the title of this blog post. I decided it was time to post again and I wasn't quite certain what to write about. I didn't wanna type yet about this specific thing going on in my life yet, because I want the video to be completed when I speak of the subject. So I was pondering what to write and then it hit me. I had a CYO retreat planning meeting this afternoon and although I cant' reveal any of that information here, I can talk about last year's retreat. I decided I would take the song, disect in in a way, and write about what I think and how this song specifically affected me. Music has always been powerful to me, especially when there are powerful memories associated with it. Here it goes! First, here's a link to the song in case any of you would like to listen. The Words I Would Say

Scholarship Essay

What not to do. . .

So remember yesterday I talked about scholarships? Well today I was reminded of one that I had completely forgotten about. And it was also due today. So I made it up and wrote it in band class. Since I'm far too lazy to actually put an adequate blog post tonight, I will  share with you my terrible essay that I wrote. Please note : This is an example of what NOT to do for essays. Please enjoy. : )

This past summer I took on a job teaching an elemtnary level band camp at a local private school. I chose to do this project because I have been heavily involved in music and love working with young children. During the two week period, my time was spent teaching and getting to know the kids. I taught them the basics of music and also how to play their respective instruments. I also helped them learn patience and set a foundation for good work ethics.

Some Stuff On My Mind

"Sometimes I suffer from indegestion of the mind."

Quote credit goes to Carrie Latet! That is absolutely how I feel at the moment. Life has thrown a few curveballs at me recently and they're pretty tough to swallow. Most of them are weighing heavily on my mind and are tough to be rid of. I'm not going to go into detail about some things at the moment, because I have a video that will be coming up within the coming weeks bout it! Yay! I'm using my life and favorite song (Jar of Hearts) to create a video with some friends. Of course, it'll be posted here as soon as it's finished. If you're interested in hearing the song, its absolutely wonderful! Jar of Hearts <3

What I will talk about right now is some stress I'm freaking out about. At school, in order to graduate with an Honors Seal (which I've been working extremely hard for since freshman year!!!), one must complete a Senior Honors Project. This includes a research paper, a portfolio, and a product. Well I did the paper on music and emotions. It was great.

Nice to Meet 'Cha!

Welcome to the Candy Bowl!

 Hi. Hello. I'm Sam and I'll be your waiter for this evening. I'm only joking, though I would make a kick-butt waiter! In all seriousness, I am Sam and once again, welcome to the candy bowl. Life can be sweet and life can be sour, just like candy. This is the place to talk about it, make fun of my life, feel better about yourself, and hey, maybe I'll write about something you'd like to hear about!

You might want to know a bit more about me and I'll start with the general stuff. As I write this, I am a 17 year old senior (highschool senior to be exact) and I'm very involved in the musical world. I will be attending College of Charleston next year and it's incredibly exciting.