Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Retreat :)

My Life in Outline Form
So this is the outline for my talk. I figured since there are so few of you as my readers I can share this with you :)

• Who people see me as
     o This isn’t how I see myself

• Before high school

     o Family life

           Not outwardly bad, mostly not feeling good enough

     o Middle school

           Moved here, whole new world

           First in a string of bad boyfriends, peers were negative influence on my self-esteem

           Start to physically hurt myself

• Freshman Year

     o CYO; finally met real people who cared about me

     o First good relationship and growth

• Sophomore Year

     o My relationship with Leroy and how it affected me

     o Started healing with Andrew’s help

• Junior Year

     o Being drum major brought me down a little; I wasn’t good enough

     o Music wasn’t strong anymore and it depressed me

     o Feb. things with Andrew started to go downhill and he began to drag me down

     o I had even lost CYO, wasn’t the same anymore and I felt outcast, as if I wasn’t wanted

• Senior Year

     o Andrew dumps me

           The heartache, felt betrayed

           I saw that I deserved better, but still felt that nobody else could ever love me

     o Marching Band

          Always criticized and talked bad about when I did nothing wrong, called a “failure” constantly

          Felt worthless and weak and started to hate myself again

     o My battle

          Struggle to be happy every day

           My views on myself (good and bad)

• God

     o I feel unworthy

          So wrong, too bad of a person, I don’t deserve his amazing love

     o Reaching for him

         Trying to focus on God and myself

         Be happy for me; not worry so much of others

         Though he still feels distant, he IS there

• Bible Verse

     o “He heals the brokenhearted and binds their wounds”

• My song (Stand in the Rain)

     o Perfectly describes me

     o I need to learn how to be strong and know that I will make it through whatever comes my way

I'll post the actual talk at some point :3 Hope you enjoyed the outline!
 
Much love and hugs,
Sam

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