Oh life...

My Life

Obstacles in my life have been like a snowball this week. Rolling downhill at me, growing bigger and bigger and bigger. Things keep happening and it seems as if bad things really do happen in threes. Its just one thing after another. And not little things either. Big things.

But through all this, I've learned some very important lessons. I've learned who my true friends are and I'm rekindling some of those best friends that I had moved apart from. I've learned what is important to me in life and that I AM strong enough to keep fighting and make it through anything. I've got to fight for what I believe in and what I know in my heart is true. And although things won't be easy, it will be ok.

They say that bad things come in three...and then there's a stroke of good luck. Maybe it'll come. Well, I'll be open to some. But if more troubles are just to follow, I'm ready for that too.

There is nothing to worry about but all things to pray for. God is in charge and in control of my life, all I can do is let him do his work and know that he will give me nothing that I cannot handle/overcome.

Things won't be easy. But they will be ok.

Much love and hugs,

Sam

Takin a Break

Tired....

I've been out of town for a few days and unable to post.

I would post tonight but I'm very stressed about my day at school tomorrow and having to face a certain person who is making my life hell and making me feel like crap about myself. Also, I'm tired which means any entry posted would be not good.

Talk 5

Loss of a loved one

It's hard to lose somebody you love. It's one of the most challenging things a person can face in their lifetime. Losing someone you love....its painful. The grieving process is long and hard. But...it'll be ok.

One thing to remember is that they know how you feel. They know you loved them and how much you cared even if you didn't expess it.

Also, isn't it a nice thought that they are finally out of this hell-hole we call earth? Man this place sucks sometimes so it's great to think that our loved ones have moved on to a better place. They're with the one who made them and loves them more than any of us ever could.

But.... one thing I took from this talk is to live your life always reminding those you love that you care about them. You neve know when they'll be gone.

Much love and hugs,

Sam

Talk 4

Foundations

What are your foundations built upon?

We cannot build our foundations upon our friends. Not only does it create not solid ground for you to live on (building your house on sand instead of rock) but it can also drain them and hurt them, which is terrible...I've been in both places before and it's really not fun.

But what we can do is buid our foundation upon God. He is the rock in which to build your house. He is always stable and will always be the ultimate one there for you. He is the one on whom you can always rely and never have to worry.

Build your foundation on your faith in God. It can work miracles.

Much love and hugs,

Sam

Talk 3

Influence on Others

This was a tough talk to hear. One of my best friends...it was hard to hear what this person has been through and still continues to bear every day. But...I learned so much from it.

The one thing that really shone out from it was that what you say can really influence people. You never know what your words or your actions towards another person will do to them. It can have a very negative effect. People get really hurt by what other people say (and can even be driven to suicide from it). You have power over other people.

Talk 2

Self Esteem

This was my talk.

One of the hardest battles I think a person can face is the one against themself. If you are weak in your faith and belief in yourself, everything else will crumble around you. You are the one who sees yourself with tainted eyes, needing to live up to everything and failing every time. You put the most pressure on yourself. You never think you're good enough. And when others hurt you, it just hurts all the more when you just believe everything they tell you.

Talk One

Drug Abuse

This one is going to be a relatively short reflection. It's a topic I don't know much about.

Using drugs give people a high. Obvious. But..it's not anything compared to the high that we can get from allowing God to take over in our lives. Or the high of a clean conscience.  Those things are what truly make people happy. Trying to fill up the gap in your life with drugs/alcohol/sex/anything won't really do it. But when you hand it all over to the one who made you, the hole will be filled.

Much love and hugs,

Sam

Retreat

Heal, yea!

That was our slogan for the weekend. Here is a breif overview of general things to know:

Theme- God's Water Heals

Song- Healin Begins by Tenth Avenue North

Verse- "Those who drink from the water I give them will never thirst" (Samaratin woman at the well)

Todays entry is to describe what will be posted in the course of the next few days. I will probably start with refelctions on each of the witness talks given. Then any thoughts or things I need to reflect on. But this could vary and change.

Things are about to get a lot more personal.

I'm just gonna say that this weekend was one of the best in my life and it was such an incredible experience. I've made a newer family out of CYO and grown closer to them than any large group than before. Although there was some issues and troubles and issues with "going with the flow", the experience overall was well worth the strife and stress it caused.

"God heals the broken-hearted and binds their wounds." (my bible verse from my talk)

Much love and hugs,

Sam

Day 15

Habits

Day 15: What is your quirkest habit? Worst? Best?

I'll start with silly then go serious. My quirky habit is that sometimes I'll 'type' words out in the air. Or play an invisible piano. Yea, I'm weird. Worst would probably be biting my nails (which I'm trying to break), and best would be...well...I'm not really sure.

Day 14

Memory

Day 14: What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?

My happiest childhood memory...the best one that immediately pops into mind was with my late grandfather. I was really little and it was when we lived with him and my grandma in Marietta. He and I were on the computer playing Who Wants to Be A Millionaire. And we were on the million dollar question and neither of us knew the answer. But I had a gut feeling that the answer was A. I can't remember the question or the anwers but I distinctly remember that I KNEW the answer was A. But Grandpa didnt' wanna risk it, so he walked away. And guess what? When it showed us the right answer...yea...it was A.

Day 13

Fear of Death

Day 13: Do you fear death? If so, do you have a good reason?

That is a hard question to answer. There is two ways I could answer this question. A) Do I fear myself dying? or B) Do I fear the death of others?

A) Myself dying I am not really afraid of. I've come to terms that my life is going to end on this plane of existance and I'll move onto my life in another. I'm not afraid of what is my demise. I just pray that is won't be painful, but I'm not afraid.

Day 12

Purpose In Life

Day 12: Do you know God's purpose for your life? Do we know this from birth?

I'll start with the second question and then answer the first.

I think that we all have our purpose in life engraved into our hearts upon birth. But we may not discover it until later in life. There are some people who just automatically know and then life pans out for them as they always knew it would. I think they're pretty lucky. Others have to work to find that purpose or just let it happen upon them and then BAM it becomes clear. But I believe our purpose IS set out for us at birth.

Day 10 and 11

Letting Go and Remembering

Hello again! Two days again in this entry. No internet access last night and I didnt' get home from Charleston till about 11 and I was exhausted. So anyways, let's hop to it!

Day 10: Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

Well, honestly...probably the pain that other people have caused me. I don't really dwell on it..but there are days when it still bothers me and some of the feelings from that pain swell back up and I get sad.

Day 9

Loss of A Friend

Day 9: Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

There are two ways in which I can answer this question due to the word choice of 'worse'. I'll talk about each option on its own and explain how it is worse, starting with what I believe to be the least 'sad'. And when I say sad....well, you'll see what I mean.

Day 8

Ten Years Time

Day 8 : Where do you see yourself ten years from now?

Well, I'll be 27. I see myself married to a certain somebody, possibly with some children. I see myself working as an elementary music teacher, and loving my carreer. I see myself happy with life and God and the world. 

To sum it up, I see joy.

Day 7

My Message

Day 7: If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be?

You are NEVER alone.

So many people in this world today feel..lost, alone, abandoned, hopeless. And I think that a lot of these negative feelings are stemmed from feeling alone. Like whenever one is in a tough situation, it is only worsened by the feeling that no one else is there to help them. They must fight it completely on their own.

Day 5 and 6

Regret and Calculations

Okay guys, I'm sorry to not have updated yesterday. I had an absolutely KILLER migraine and had to just get to bed before I could post an entry. So you get two doses of thought tonight.

Day 5: What would you regret not fully doing, being, or having in your life?

The capacity to love and be loved. If I never marry, I will regret it. If I never have kids or friends who are like family to me, I will regret it. To me, having love in life is the most rewarding thing one can ever have. People who love you are the biggest blessing in the world. And the ability to love others is astounding. And then there's always God's love. That has to be the one thing I would regret not having in my life.

Day 4

Living vs. Existing

Question for Day 4: What is the difference between living and existing?

First, I want to take a look at the literal definitions for each. The definition of living is acting or thriving (among other things of course, but I picked the definition that really spoke out to me!). The definition of existance is to have actual being.

There is such a difference between these two definitions, although each did have similarities between them. The main difference is in living. Although one explanation of living is to exist, the definition I chose is very significant. (Randomly terrible paragraph...)

Day 2 and 3

Lenten Sacrifices and Devotion/Happiness

Since I had some issues yesterday and couldn't post my thoughts for the day, so today I am going to play catch-up. I have two topics as seen above. They're probably going to be a tad short today but anyways. . . Let's get started!

Lenten sacrifices. I honestly believe people dont' take this seriously anymore. I'll be honest, in the past, I didn't either. But this year I'm trying really hard to make a difference. Somebody (i'm being dead serious here) was debating over whether or not to give up their straightener. Talk about sacrifice! (obvious sarcasm!) The purpose of Lent isn't to give up something trivial. It's to find a deeper wealth of love for our God.

Lenten Reflection Day 1

Being Nice

Let me explain something first. One of my Lenten promises to myself is to post a reflection entry every day until Lent is over. Instead of giving up something to better myself (which I already am through a different goal) I also intend to better myself through daily reflection, thought, and prayer. Each day I will have a question which I will talk about my feelings on. So let's get this started!

Day 1: What is the nicest thing you remember ever doing for someone. What is the nicest thing you will do for someone this week?